Monday, 12 January 2009

• [11] B-bomb

  "My boyfriend"

  Now the words above isn't a huge problem, usually when it occurs when speaking to someone that you just met, they're letting you know where the boundaries are drawn - or they're pulling it out of their ass to get you to go away. Now when those words come out of the mouth of someone that you're interested in, and that you originally had the impression that they were single... it could be pretty devastating. My main interest just dropped the bf bomb on me and it instantly hit me like a ton of bricks. It feels like I haven't made the initative and I lost out. Based on my last post, it seems like things are going faster in my life than I'm expecting. I wanted this year to be different and actually pursue a serious relationship with someone, but it seems like I've always been trying, but with no success. You know it really sucks, that's why I'm writing this, because I need to get this all out of my system.

  This girl that I'm interested in, let's call her Betty. Her birthday is on Wednesday and I got her orchids last year with a card saying, "from a Secret Admirer" and this year... I was considering doing it again, but I think it'd just be a waste. She eventually found out it was me and asked me, which was probably the first time she has EVER messaged me first. I really wished that she was gonna be the one that I ended with cause I felt so strongly about her. She brought up her boyfriend nonchalantly and it's easy for her to say it out cause I guess I never let her know how I felt, which I believe plays a large part of my failure. I think my problem is that I liked her so much that I got nervous around her and was always cautious about my actions - which was just to get to know her better. I dunno I might just send her something for the hell of it; I just wouldn't know what to write in the card.

  There's a million reasons why not to do something, and 1 reason to do it.

  • 12:42 PM
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