Back on post [2] I mentioned a friend named Janice. Now there's alot more to this story with her and I. Basically that Monday that we were to hang out, we pretty much hooked up. We parted our ways and said our goodbyes, with her leaving off the New Jersey. That was probably the last time I saw her, from that day on it's been difficult to get in touch with her and... screw it, it's not that i couldn't get in touch with her, it's just that I didn't do shit about it. The problem was that I wasn't attracted to her in the first place, and that didn't make me want to do anything more with her. I got her as far as the sack and left it at that. There in root lies my problem, I start to develop these habits on women that i'm not interested in and develop a problem with a non-existant potentional relationship I could have with someone else. I know I've lost plenty of opportunities by not following up with a person afterwards but the truth is that I really get scared. I also don't want to push it beyond to where feelings get hurt. What I fail to realize is that by not speaking to them, feelings eventually DO get hurt and then things get awkward. I'm an asshole that i did that, it's just that recently I haven't been able to concentrate on a single girl.
Comments (1)
You know what I'm going to say, don't you?
I think part of it is you're feeling anxiety and pressure, and that causes you to make certain bad decisions. You're not a bad person, I"m sure, but these actions of abandoning and not following up on women who you have given signals of interest only make you out to be... a jerk. Even though you're not a jerk! (I think that's the case, anyway...)
Finding the right person takes time and effort and a lot of patience. It's TOTALLY fine to date around (I personally only date people I know very well, aka friends, but dating around is completely acceptable) AS LONG AS you communicate your expectations and feelings about the relationship. Even if it's women you simply want to shag and move on, you need to tell them CLEARLY that you want to shag them and move on. And there you are, no longer a jerk, but someone who is exploring his options in the modern world.
In the midst of all this, who knows? You may even find someone you feel safe and secure with, and you might even just go with the flow and achieve true happiness...
*sigh*