Monday, 06 October 2008

• [4] Cease

  Now I've gone on many dates within my short span here on earth and although I wish everything I did resulted in a positive light, alas this is not true. Like every failed attempt, there's a lesson learned. Now some women that I've dated before still keep in contact with me via instant messages, phone calls or text messages. Some just feel like dropping a line once in a blue moon and I'm fine with that. Shit, with my personality it happens with me a lot more than I'd like to admit. I bump into some in the street and have an awkward conversation, while others I bump into parties... with their new boyfriend. Either way, there must have been a reason for us not to continue the relationship. I'm sure we all like to end our relationships on our terms, unfortunately that rarely is the case. Most times it ends cause I'm weird and we all have our own quirks. Which is why you've gotta date as much as possible to screen them all out.

  Enter Vivian, a feisty little number from Kansas. I met her through work, and as the wannabe gentleman I am, I respected the workplace more than it deserves and didn't dip my pen in the company ink. Anyway, she definitely caught my eye a few times before the whole merger deal was going down and being the shy guy I am, never really approached her. A business project was coming up at work and the person normally working the account couldn't take care of it due to scheduled days off. Seeing how I would be working with Viv on that account I immediately jumped on the opportunity. I worked with her briefly and pretty much worked from there. Stopped by on random occasions and spoke to her a few times. Asked her to go to a few games at MSG with me, two basketball games and a hockey game. Due to the restrictions of work, I never made a move on her. We became good decent friends.

  Then came the day she told me on AIM that she had given her two weeks . Damnit. Now this was in December of 07', and I wouldn't be around work due to family business. One of my favorite lines I said to her when she told me the news was: "Great, now dating within the company will no longer be an issue", in response she said, "me too".  You shoulda seen the stupid grin on my face, cause it was on all day. With me being the clueless guy that I am, I still was doubtful that she was interested until another co-worker mentioned me that she talked about me all the time. WHOO! I didn't get to say my goodbyes but we kept in small contact through AIM. Finally, I mustered enough courage to ask her out to go grab some dinner or something. I really didn't have anything in mind but just winged it with the plans. I wound up picking her up and then heading out to Long Island for some food at Cheesecake factory and then some games at D&B. Afterwards we head back to her place and she shows me around. Now here's the thing... I love all animals and my brother even had a cat at home for a brief period of time. She has two cats. I never realized how allergic I was to cat dander up until that night cause I was sneezing and stuffy and you name it I had it. We were just making out in her bed, unfortunately it sucked due to the sneezing and really turned me off. I could have stayed the night, but she clearly stated that there would be no funny business. I had no problem with that but you can't blame a guy for trying! I didn't stay anyway cause I would have been sneezing all night. I headed home with some serious blue balls and called it a night.

  Here's where I crash and burn, and take total responsibility for it. I wind up not calling her for a while after that, we chit chatted a bit on AIM, but never really pursued any additional outings. I regret it, but it seemed like I was the one always initiating the activities and dialog. It seemed to me like I was pursuing something that didn't want to be pursued. I wind up text messaging her a few more times to see what she was doing, but never really went out and did something. Eventually a few months later I wound up in Bier Garden one night, as she lives near Astoria I called her out hoping to see her. Little did I know she had something else in mind. After a few hours and exchaning messages, she had just finished her baby sitting gig and I was hammered beyond repair. We met up outside Bier Garden and she let me have it, no holds barred ranting. How I was an asshole, not attempting to be even her friend and not to bother calling her again was the highlight of the conversation. My stupid self associated her with a previous girl that broke things off due to her being from another state. In the back of my mind, I had the idea that she was going to eventually leave and was looking for something more serious. She put me in line and told me that wasn't the case, it was actually the total opposite. I thought it was an unfair fight due to my current intoxicated state but hell, it was something that was comin to me. I have to say that she was the worst result of anyone I've ever dated and that I've ever really liked. She went even so far as to de-friend me on Facebook, it's not a big deal but it's never had that happen to me. I totally regret the way I handled the situation and the way I acted. I haven't spoken to her for about 4 months now, and I think it's better that way. Maybe I'll reach out to her soon, as I don't like to leave bad things in the air. But hell, live and learn right?

  Lessons Learned:

  1. Drunk texting is just a plain bad idea.
  2. Get over yourself, you're going to give more than you're going to receive.
  3. Never associate a pervious relationship with a current / potential one. (They are different people!)
  4. NEVER get into an argument with a copywriter through messages, you will get your ass kicked.

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