So I caved in and sent Betty something...

I sent her a singing telegram. At work.  I was in the middle of the fence when I made this decision. It would embarrass her and she wouldn't have much to remember the occasion but I thought it would make quite the lasting memory. I couldn't decide on what costume to go with, a (pink or black) full bodied Gorilla costume, Hamburger, or a hot dog? I settled with SpongeBob as it was the only available costume that I thought would be funny. Next step was to make sure she was at work and available at the time the message would be delivered. So I had a co worker make believe she was a courier service and said that she had to be present to sign off on a "package". Making arrangements with everyone was down to the wire, and I had to pull some serious strings to get this done. All in all, it was a day of work to make 1 person happy on their birthday. Now that I think of it, I would have spent more time planning if she was actually a potential girlfriend and possibly twice as more if she was already. What she does to me is bring out the best in me and I love the fact that just her being my friend makes me do things I would never do. But I accepted the fact that she's probably not interested and never will be. So I consider this my last hurrah to get her to notice. With the news that she delivered yesterday, that still gives me goosebumps today, I'm done. The ball is now in her court and I don't think she'll ever check the ball back.

These are the times that make me feel like a true "nice guy" sucker.

Here's a quick joke I heard at werk;
Q: Why don't witches have kids?
A: All the men have Hallo-weenies.

HAR HAR! Anyway, My Halloween was a blast! Spent it walking throughout the Village parade, In my PacMan costume. The event was fun, but sucked cause none of my photos came out clear enough. Walking though the Parade is much better than just standing on the sidelines being squished. Lots of cute girls, along with a lot of skin, both men & women. Walking was exhausting but fun, woulda been better if my freaking camera shots came out clearer. ARRG! Went bar hopping around the village after the parade and it was pretty much packed in every location. I met up with my brother and his friends afterwards and continued jumping around.

My brother was with some friends that I've known for some time but there was an additional woman there that I've never met before, Melissa. By the time I get there, she's pretty much hammered off her keester. She was dressed as an gymnast, attempting to do drunken cartwheels and lovely splits on the bar floor. By observing her move that ass, I was pretty much hooked for the rest of the night. We took a cab back to her friends place sucking face most of the way and continued to get it on in our friend's bedroom. Now, there are a few factors going on... it's a 1 br apartment, there's 4 people in the living room and we're on our mutual friend's bed. I'd get pissed if someone was getting it on in my bed with someone else while I sleep on the fucking couch. Noise - her bedroom doesn't lock and she has a cat that comes and goes wherever it wants, leaving the door wide open. My sense of morals jump in when a girl is drunk as she was. Accounting for all these factors, I had a personal issue - this has happened a few times with other women, which I'm not proud of at all. Basically I couldn't perform - too many thoughts going thru my head as we were getting it on. Can they hear? Should we do this on our friend's bed? I got the job started but couldn't finish, Twice. I've come to the conclusion that I had too many beers and was too drunk to function. FUCK. Fucking stage fright!

I've never had the morning after situation, so I was kinda off the next morning. With friends of friends hooking up with each other, I dunno how the etiquette is toward the other friends. I have yet to apologize and speak to my friend about her bedroom. What am I suppose to say? I tried to keep any fluids off of your sheets? Sorry for the puddle of drool on your pillow? I think some things should be better left unsaid.

Melissa, if I had another chance at it, in the privacy of my own place. I'd make you walk funny the next day.

"Happy Halloween!"

I went to go watch a movie with an old flame on friday. We've dated a few months back, 5 months to be exact. Caught a drink, watched a movie, had some dinner and then hit up a lounge on the lower east. During this whole time, I couldn't help but think about our past and think about what went wrong. When I finally had enough balls to muster up the general question of asking if she ever thought of us getting back together again, I realized I shot myself in the foot during dinner when she responded, "Well based on what you said before, that would stop us from getting back together". Mentally rewinding, I said that I wasn't mentally ready for a relationship. Which is totally true, I don't think I'm ready for a relationship because I believe I'm so mentally unstable.

You know it's funny everyone thinks other people are "weird" when they first meet them. I believe it's just their uniqueness that makes them shine. Everyone is weird in their own way, it's what makes us, us.

don't feel like writing much today.